It happens all the time with freshman, and that’s to be expected. But when it happens when we’re past the legal drinking age, it really becomes surprising.

It’s girls who completely abandon their lives to spend all their time with their boyfriends. These are the girls who all but move into their boyfriends houses/dorm rooms, spend all their time with the boyfriend, and stop hanging out with their friends. If it ever comes down to choosing whether to spend time with him or them, she always chooses him.

It’s not as obvious as these girls think; it’s much more subtle to them. (Another lesson, that money/comfort buys love/happiness, is another lesson that I believe EVERYONE will learn in their life at some time, but it will be taught in a much more subtle way than you expect. It’s not like you’d actually marry a rich octogenarian, would you?)

And what happens further down the road? They could end up together forever, getting married, all that fun stuff. And they could genuinely be happy. But odds are stacked higher that either they’ll end up trapped in an unhappy or unsatisfying relationship, or that they’ll break up and the girl will have no life to go back to. Starting over isn’t easy.

(Not that I’ve EVER been in this situation. I learned the horrifying consequences from watching a certain former roommate’s life deteriorate, and I vowed never to let it happen to me.)

I’m writing this now because one of my good friends has gotten herself into a relationship like this. She spends about 22 hours a day with him, excluding when she has classes. And she hasn’t done anything social with her friends in weeks, even just sitting around and watching a movie or TV. And it kills me to see how he’s been manipulating her for the past two months.

That’s all I want to say.

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