As time goes on, it feels like our country is growing more and more conservative — not politically, but in terms of censorship. Paranoia is rampant in this post-wardrobe malfunction world, and people everywhere are afraid to take risks. Changing explicit lyrics into radio-friendly words seems even more strict lately. After listening to the different versions of Pretty Ricky’s “On the Hotline” (yep, bought it on iTunes), I was surprised at just how much was changed.

Original lyrics:

It’s five in the morning
And I’m having phone sex with you
….
Let’s talk about sex, baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about bubbles in the tub
Let’s talk about making love
Let’s talk about you on top
Or me going down
Let’s talk about phone sex, baby
On the hotline

Edited lyrics:

It’s five in the morning
And I’m talking dirty to you
….
Let’s talk about sex, baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about bubbles in the tub
Let’s talk about making love
Let’s talk about cherries on top
Girl, it’s going down
Said I wanna talk dirty to you, baby
On the hotline

(Note: I always think “Fugs n Jugs” when I hear “bubbles in the tub,” which is Perez Hilton’s nickname for John Mayer and Jessica Simpson. I personally voted for the nickname “Titty Wonderland,” but “Fugs n Jugs” has grown on me! Let’s talk about Fugs n Jugs….)

Come on! What is so bad about “you on top or me going down”? Much worse stuff has been said on the radio. Personally, I’m wondering how Fergie gets away with saying “Cause you know I don’t give a f’k, so here we go!” in the edited version of “London Bridge.”

Also — anyone who reads this blog knows that I’m always intentionally vague about my job, but something great happened that I have to share. I have a new schedule. Since November, I’ve been working Sunday-Wednesday and Friday, 2:00 PM-10:30 PM. My new schedule? Tuesday-Saturday, 9:00 AM-5:30 PM.

To quote my dad, “You’ll be commuting with the important folks!”

I’m really thrilled about this change. There were some definite advantages of working the latest shift (especially getting to become great friends with my fellow late-shifters, some of whom have become my best friends at work), as well as getting to watch The View on a daily basis, but I’m glad that I’ll be getting a normal 9-5 life again, and will be able to watch prime time TV again, especially American Idol!

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