She be calling me DADDY
I be calling her MOMMY
She be calling you KELLY
But your name is TOMMY

I’ve never really understood the point of calling a sexual partner “Daddy” or “Mommy.” It sounds a little too creepy to me. However, it seems to be a common occurance in the life of R. Kelly.

It’s strange. Is it a compulsion? When you’re in the heat of the moment, is it normal to moan, “Daddy!!”?! I don’t think so. I personally think that Mommy is even worse. Particularly if the guy is playing with your boobs as he says it. I guess that Mama isn’t quite as bad, and even Daddy isn’t so bad (according to films that I’ve seen and nothing more), but Mommy? That has to be the worst.

Also, this selection of lyrics solves the problem of what to call R. Kelly. I mean, if you met him, wouldn’t most people be like, “Hey, R. Kelly, what’s up?” Not R? Not something else entirely? Well, I guess it’s Kelly. Weird. And it took me a couple listens before I “got” that.

Still, “I’m a Flirt” is one of the greatest songs of our time.