I have never been so frightened in my adult life.

Sure, there have been nightmares.  Scary ones, too.  But what happened last night was unlike anything I have ever, ever experienced.

It began with a dream.  I was heading out to meet my sister and her Emerson friends.  (Sars and I did some filming for her Film I class yesterday, so that’s where that came from.)  It was downtown Boston, but it looked like the area outside the field house at Reading High.

Sarah was on top of the snowbank and I was at the bottom.  A van pulled up, and I knew that her friends were inside, waiting to attack me.  The van door opened.  I backed up and fell into a small sinkhole.  “Well, at least I’ll be somewhat warm in here,” I thought.  Then all of a sudden, I was getting snow stuffed into my bare neck.  It was freezing cold and I felt paralyzed — I couldn’t fight off the attackers, and it was just cold, cold, cold.

I then woke up, or fell into a half-sleep/half-dream situation.  A figure was sitting upright on my bed at about where my knees were.  At first, I thought the figure was androgynous, but I then realized it had a masculine air about it.

Keep in mind that I felt awake by this point, but my thoughts were the fluid, almost nonsensical ones of someone who had just woken up. 

I wondered who the figure was who was watching me sleep.  Maybe this was the next guy I’d be dating, I thought drowsily.  Maybe it’s my new guy, and he was hanging out downstairs with my roommates, and he came up to be with me.  Maybe my roommates found him.  I wonder if Omni is having her guy friends over again.

Then I woke up a little bit more, and I saw that the figure had flat, almost oblong eyes, short and very wide eyes, much like those you see in the Senegalese, but less yellow.  I suddenly realized that I was awake and that the figure was still here.  This was real.  I could see him move, and I could see images that looked like birds or bats flying around my room.

He leaned over me.  I squeezed my eyes shut.  I felt enormous pressure on my chest, and I couldn’t move.  I struggled to scream, over and over, but I could only let out a whimper.  I tried to scream louder so that Omni or Surina would hear me and run in and find this guy on top of me.

Then I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t get a single breath into my chest.  I felt like everything was being pushed out of me, and then it suddenly ended.

Suddenly, I could breathe and move.  I was 100% awake and aware by now, still squeezing my eyes shut, afraid to see what was in front of me.  I was beyond terrified.  I opened my eyes, and I could still see the birds or bats that were flapping around the room.  I closed my eyes again, still afraid.

I heard a growl next to my left ear, and my hands got tangled in hair that I assumed wasn’t my own.  My bed started to shake a bit.  (Granted, the bed shaking happens in this old house from time to time, but I didn’t think anyone else was running around the house.)  I started humming to scare the thing away.

The whole time, even as soon as the snow dream ended, I prayed, saying, God, please protect me, God, please protect me, over and over in my head.  I then started saying it aloud.

I am blown away by just how real this whole thing felt.  While the figure was with with me, I felt awake, but it was like a stage between dreaming and being awake.  I’ve been in that stage before, but only for fleeting moments.  This lasted for a long time.

As soon as it ended, I was absolutely positive that it was a succubus.  I know that succubi lie on top of their victims and suffocate them.  I decided to Wikipedia it and blog about it in the morning.

After researching, I learned that succubi are female figures that attack males in their sleep, while incubi are male figures that attack females.  They attack and rape their sleeping victims to derive life from their energy (or sperm, in the case of males).

These images were most popular in Medieval folklore, when unmarried pregnant women often claimed that they were attacked by succubi, but mentions of this phenomenon date back as far as ancient Mesopotamia.  (The Wikipedia isn’t that great, but check it out for the basics.)

After reading about this (and after reading some people’s lame-sounding accounts filled with sexual imagery, as if they were desperate to experience an incubus or succubus), I am absolutely positive that I was attacked by an incubus last night.  I’m never in that sleep stage.  In my dreams, I breathe underwater all the time — I’m never unable to breathe.  This had to be an incubus.

After my head cleared, I was too scared to go back to sleep, too scared to get up, too scared to turn on the light or even look at my clock.  I have NEVER been too scared to go to sleep, even when I was little.  And now I’m afraid that the incubus is going to come back.

PLEASE — I would love to hear what you have to say about this.  If you have feedback of any kind, I would appreciate it.  Thanks.