Finally, it’s time to post about our absolutely CRUISAZY weekend in Las Vegas!

Lisa and I arrived at about 4:30 PM on Friday.  (Alexa would be arriving the next morning.)  And because we’re so fabulous, we made sure to arrive in style:

In a limo!  It’s a great deal ($65, including gratuity, from Presidential Limo) because in addition to arriving in style, you get to bypass the long taxi line, you get a magnum of champagne (!) and tons of bottled water, which is so expensive in Vegas.

Lisa promptly began hoarding the bottled water.

I cracked open the champagne.  We got through about three glasses each on the drive to T.I.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE!!!  Our limo driver suggested stopping here, traffic whizzing around us, to take pictures of us.

We then drove up the Strip, which took a surprisingly long time with traffic.  T.I. is at the top of the main part of the Strip, right near the Venetian, the Palazzo, the Wynn and the Mirage.

Most of my pictures on the way there are bad, but here are a few good ones:

Caesars Palace (the lack of an apostrophe drives me INSANE!).

The insanely luxurious Palazzo, where I would love to stay if I had unlimited funds.

We got to T.I., checked in, and slipped the girl at the desk a twenty.  In turn, she hooked us up with a recently renovated room on the 28th floor overlooking the Wynn, the Palazzo and the fireworks-filled pirate show:

A bit tough to convey in pictures, but the view was great.

We then decided to head down to watch the pirate show.

I love this picture of the Wynn.  It was taken from the base of the pirate show, where we had prime viewing due to being guests at T.I.

Is the show appropriate for kids?  Well, it used to be perfect for kids.  Now, it’s essentially “Pirates vs. Strippers,” or “Sirens,” as they call those pirate hos.  There’s stripping, gyrating and bondage.  Of course, there were plenty of kids there.  It kind of pushed the limit.

Who wouldn’t want to be boarded by these hott pirates?

After the show, Lisa and I got dinner at Isla, the Mexican restaurant at T.I. (good food but not fantastic).  As we were eating, we were falling asleep — I had been up since 7:00 AM Eastern Time, and she had been up even longer, and though we napped a bit on the plane, we were EXHAUSTED!

We headed back to our room and took a 90-minute power nap, then dressed up, went downstairs to Starbucks, and each downed a latte.  We were NOT going to let a Friday night in Vegas go to waste.

And so we headed to PURE at Caesars Palace!

Yep, I broke out the red satin shorts.  Vegas, baby!

It is a fabulous feeling when you’re trying to get into one of the hottest clubs (if not THE hottest club) in Vegas on a Friday when there are hundreds upon hundreds waiting in line, and all you have to do is make a quick phone call and have a VIP host find you and take you inside, no line, no cover, nothing.  Thank you, Former Job!!!!!

The Pussycat Dolls Lounge at PURE.  Lisa made a great observation: “Aren’t the Pussycat Dolls supposed to be singers, not just dancers and strippers?”  Valid point, indeed…not much actual singing took place.

It was kind of cool, though.  There were girls on swings in the back.

PURE from the VIP section.  As you can see, it was so not the opposite of a sausage fest!

More sausage.  I thought clubs were supposed to keep a 4:1 girl:guy ratio.  That wasn’t even close to the case, no matter where we went!!

Us with our host at PURE, Brandon.  He was SUCH a nice guy — definitely the nicest of all the hosts we met over the weekend — and he bought us drinks and shots, took us to the VIP section, introduced me to hosts at the new Christian Audigier club that opened up last night at T.I….

DJ AM is the DJ on Fridays there — and his music was AWESOME.  It was a great mix of rock, hip-hop, Top 40 and mash-ups — and anyone who plays Ludacris’s “Ho” is gold in my book!  Lisa and I were on the dance floor, screaming out, “You doin’ ho a’tivities with ho tendencies, hos are yo friens, hos are yo enemies!” as a few guys crushed up against us looked on amusedly.

That brings me to something else.  The worst thing about PURE was how crowded it was.  It was even worse than Gypsy Bar.  At least at Gypsy Bar you could do something besides slightly wiggle.  The VIP section, though, was blessedly spacious, as was the deck outside.

Lisa and I pose on the deck, which was really nice.  They played mostly house up there.

The deck overlooks the Flamingo, Bally’s and the Paris, among others.

On the way back, we posed by the Trevi Fountain at the Forum Shoppes at Caesars.  I love this picture of Lisa (almost as much as I love her dress)!

We had a great time at PURE, but it wasn’t our favorite.  The pros were the music, the size (it was huge with tons of rooms), the VIP section, and Brandon being awesome.  The cons were how crowded it was, and the decor and outdoor deck paled in comparison to those at Tryst and Tao.  I would absolutely go back, though!

(I think part of it was that we were still so exhausted when we were there.  DO NOT FLY OUT TO VEGAS IN THE MORNING, ESPECIALLY FROM THE EAST COAST!)

We got back to our room and fell asleep instantly.  Our adventures would only continue the next day…

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