Forget for a moment that I’m about to leave for my first solo trip ever.  Forget that I’m about to go to a continent where I’ve never been, a country whose language I speak badly.  Forget that I’m about to cross the fucking EQUATOR.

I’m terrified of one thing — of being in a city that’s home to such gorgeous people.

Portenos — as Buenos Aires residents are called — are notorious for their vanity.  Women and men alike are known to work out obsessively, and plastic surgery is RAMPANT, especially when it comes to breast implants and liposuction.  And everyone is beautiful and Italian on top of that.

As a result, most women larger than a size eight have trouble finding clothing in their size.


I’m going to be the fattest person in the city.  Morbidly obese.

Well, I just packed.  I filled my usual little red carry-on that has been useful for a weekend in Vegas or two weeks across Europe — then put it in the slightly larger suitcase that Beth lent me.  The shopping in Buenos Aires is supposed to be fantastic and cheap, so I plan on doing all my Christmas shopping there.

My Buenos Aires wardrobe: all of my best things.  LOTS of black pencil skirts and black minis.  Retro black dresses.  A few unique items, like my gold and leopard-print tank top and my black-and-red Asian winged top.  My black-and-white Native American-patterned strapless dress and my crazy Cavalli dress, of course!

And the Vegas items: fluttery halter tops, black satin hot pants.  Black leggings.  Four pairs of black heels and one pair of black flats.  EVERYTHING is nice, trendy and/or fancy, down to sleepwear.  The ONE casual item is my “Barack of Love” shirt.  I can dress it up.  And a pair of jeans for STRICTLY emergencies.

Have I mentioned that it’s going to be 92 degrees when I land?  😀

I’m excited.  And nervous.  And I have to say, I am SO glad that I’m doing this instead of a trip to Europe.  I love that I’m getting out of my comfort zone.  And it’s going to be great — I’ve already been invited to Thanksgiving dinner with several couchsurfers!

Wish me luck!  Follow me on Twitter.  I’ll have my iPhone and will be updating often.