Darth Vader for Pope! Wednesday, Apr 16 2008 

Which one’s scarier?  You decide.

One of my friends at work and I were talking about the Pope’s visit to the U.S. today, and he commented that the Pope kind of looked like the stereotypical image of an evil entity.

I told him he hadn’t seen anything yet.

I then went on a mad search for one of the funniest avatars I’ve seen on the internet — it was an animated GIF of the Pope turning into Darth Vader, at the point in the film when Hayden Christiansen first becomes deformed and he’s hiding under the cloak.

(Believe it or not, I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies because the first one scared me so much when I was little.  I was so afraid that Darth Vader was lurking in my bedroom that my dad had to comfort me for months.)

I searched and searched and couldn’t find it.

However, I found something even more amazing: the official petition nominating Darth Vader for Pope!

To:  The Roman Catholic Church

Dear the Roman Catholic Church
We understand that the creation of a new Pope is not usually a democratic process, however we feel that all options must be considered before you make such an important decision. That being the case we ask you to consider Darth Vader, dark lord of the Sith for the position. We feel he would make an excellent leader, would return Catholicism back to it’s roots, and would be instrumental in reconverting young people back to the faith. He would also be unlikely to molest small boys, which has got to be a plus in this modern world of ours. Remember those days when the Church commanded a fanatical cult following, and atrocities against other religions were committed with but a wave of the hand? Well, with Lord Vader at the helm those days can be here again.

So please, give in to anger, fear and aggression. Choose Darth Vader as the new Pope.


The Undersigned

Beyond fantastic.

Well, I couldn’t find that image of the Pope turning into Darth Vader, so here’s the next best thing:

A Prayer Monday, Dec 4 2006 

O God!
Refresh and gladden my spirit.
Purify my heart.
Illumine my powers.
I lay all my affairs in Thy hands.
Thou art my Guide and my Refuge.
I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved;
I will be a happy and joyful being.
O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety,
nor will I let trouble harass me.
I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.
O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself.
I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.

–baha’i prayers – `abdu’l-bahá

And yet another! Tuesday, May 2 2006 

may i feel said he… (16)
e.e. cummings

may i feel said he
(i’ll squeal said she
just once said he)
it’s fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let’s go said he
not too far said she
what’s too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you’re willing said he
(but you’re killing said she

but it’s life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don’t stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you’re divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)

Another Poem Tuesday, May 2 2006 

Last News About The Little Box
Vasko Popa

The little box which contains the world
Fell in love with herself
And conceived
Still another little box

The little box of the little box
Also fell in love with herself
And conceived
Still another little box

And so it went on forever

The world from the little box
Ought to be inside
The last offspring of the little box

But not one of the little boxes
Inside the little box in love with herself
Is the last one

Let’s see you find the world now

If You Forget Me Friday, Apr 28 2006 

I’m writing (and well!!) and it’s late, and the caffeine has pretty much worn off, but I am enjoying myself immensely. I always get a little crazy when I’m sleep-deprived, and I wanted to find some Sylvia Plath poetry (she’s my favorite poet), so I got onto plagiarist.com and looked up some poetry.

This one I fell in love with immediately. It reminds me of the closest things I’ve had to great loves in my life.

If You Forget Me — Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.