The Current Best of FML Sunday, Mar 22 2009

I’ve recently become a huge fan of the site fmylife.com.  People send in instances when their lives are “f’d,” in one way or another, and people vote on whether or not they deserved them.

I have laughed SO HARD at this site all week!

Here are my current top five favorites.

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I’m a guy. FML

Best of all was one of the responses to this one:

Two years ago a group of us were hypnotized in front of our senior class. There was a segment called “Making Out with the Stars” and we all had to choose a celebrity and pretend to make out with them. I choose Denzel Washington, and I’m a 100lb white girl. The only black guy chose Hilary Clinton.

Another classic:

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

Kind of sad, but funny:

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, “Please don’t drink anymore, I really worry about your health” written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn’t ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said “So you’re going to drink anyway?” FML

I can see this one easily happening to most of my friends:

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn’t get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn’t buy a ticket he said: “Close your top, I’m gay”. FML

Weird and awesome:

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I pictured the homeless man in a bright-red bikini triangle top.  LOVE IT.

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Twitter and Diddy’s Turkey Sandwich Saturday, Mar 14 2009

I am obsessed with Twitter, and pretty much everyone knows that.  I’ve tweeted everything from meeting celebrities to blow-by-blow accounts of nights out at clubs to even pictures of prospective apartments, asking my followers to weigh in.

Lately, I’ve become a fan of celebrities on Twitter (and yes, it’s really them).  The two funniest celebrities on Twitter (for very different reasons) are Rainn Wilson and Shaq.  Rainn Wilson is insanely witty and smart; Shaq just says the most random things.

Other celebrities I follow include Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Solange Knowles, Lily Allen, Snoop Dogg, MC Hammer, Ellen DeGeneres and the infamous Diddy.

My favorite celebrity tweet was one of Shaq’s — he took a picture of his hand, and it was kind of obvious that he took it while sitting on the toilet but had no idea.  (It was taken in a bathroom…while seated…without a toilet in sight!!)

(Actually, I have another favorite, though it was a fake celebrity.  Fake John McCain, election night, right after Obama won Ohio: “Anyone know if they’re hiring at the Gap?”)

But as of last night, I have a new favorite:

I LOVE IT.

Diddy has over 150,000 followers, so the responses have been numerous.

It’s not about connecting, sharing interests, promoting my grammar stuff or staying in touch with friends from afar — moments like these are why I live for Twitter.

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Top 25 Photos of 2008 Saturday, Jan 3 2009

Here are the 25 best, weirdest and funniest photos of 2008 — the ones that I think best represent the year.  God, this has been a cruisazy year.  Enjoy!

Arrival in Albuquerque, New Mexico!

I had a really difficult winter, mostly due to a rocky relationship, a bad breakup and being unable to shake a cold for two months.  My mom invited me to come to New Mexico with her and it was EXACTLY what I needed.  It was a time to heal.

I loved the color of this car.

Callie and I attempt to smile with our eyes, Tyra Banks-style, while at Ned Devine’s.

Lisa and I celebrate our Irish heritage in the form of Guinness, Jameson and Bailey’s on St. Paddy’s Day.

I quit my job of nearly two years!!  Here I am on my last day with my wonderful friends Jackie, Nadine, Esther and Michelle.

The weekend before I start my new job, I meet Josh.

This is the start of a crazy friendship and the first of our many, many adventures.

While out in Faneuil Hall, I befriend a bachelor party and end up jumping on their bus with them, partying till dawn.

In Las Vegas at Madame Tussaud’s, Lisa, Alexa and I give Hef a good time!

I then get stuck inside Frank Sinatra.

Ever sat in a guy in a wheelchair’s lap as he spins you around on the dance floor?  I now have.  This was also at Tryst.

This is probably my favorite picture of the year.  It’s definitely the funniest.  This is me and Lisa in Vegas at 7:00 AM after leaving Drai’s and walking back to TI while high-fiving random onlookers and yelling, “Vegas!” then going to play Blackjack for a few more hours.  This is around the time Lisa lay in the alley next to the IP.

Yeah…no explanation needed.

I spoon Beth (under the tarp) on the Esplanade in Boston on the Fourth of July.  It rained for part of the day.

Beth tries to help me discreetly change from shorts into pants on the Esplanade as Janelle looks on.  Yeah, we kind of failed at the “discreet” part.

If you’re napping, you might as well keep up the patriotism and the pimpin’.

This picture is so embarrassing.  I was convinced my hand was on his left outer thigh, NOT HIS RIGHT INNER THIGH.  I nearly died when I saw this — and Lisa, Beth and Janelle nearly died of laughter.  We met this guy at the Blackthorne in Southie and he went to our high school 15 years before us.

I reunite with my wonderful college roommate Kelly Anne at our friends Sean and Shannon‘s barbecue at their beautiful new house in Bridgeport.  (Sean and Shannon have since gotten engaged, which excites me to no end!)

The night before our shared birthday, I run into Hans at Mantra in Boston.  We’re smiling pretty big despite our disastrous weekend a week before.

Me and my lubly Sars on my birthday at 28 Degrees.

Me and my wonderful friends on my birthday.  These are some of the people most important to me: Kara, Carissa, Surina, Sars, Josh, Callie, Lisa and Beth.

I attend Barack Obama’s September rally in Manchester, New Hampshire — what an amazing experience!

I needed a popular, smart, topical and preferably political, yet not overdone (aka Sarah Palin), Halloween costume this year.  I fretted that I wouldn’t be able to find a good one — and then the PERFECT character swept into the news and into my life.  Ashley Todd.  One of my best costumes.

My first night in Buenos Aires and I’m getting licked!  Maxi unsuspectingly gets me when I was expecting a normal, smiling picture.  That’s a genuine expression of shock on my face.

Poor Louis…in Buenos Aires, food poisoning and parilla do not mix.

Carissa and I get borderline violent at Shabu Shabu Kaze in Chinatown.

Beth and I celebrate the arrival of 2009.

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Yearbook Yourself! Tuesday, Oct 7 2008

Whatever you’re doing right now, you need to head over to Yearbook Yourself.  This site lets you insert your head into various yearbook styles from 1950 through 2000.  I heard about it first from The Modern Gal, then my friend Erica made some FANTASTIC ones of me and my friend Lisa today.

This is SO ADDICTIVE.

Check it out:

1952 Kate

1966 Kate

1968 Kate — love this one!

1974 Kate

1976 Kate — Erica thinks I look like my mom here.

1984 Kate.  The year of my birth was so frightening.

1994 Kate — and yes, I love to do this to my hair whenever possible.

1996 Kate

1998 Kate

2000 Kate — I graduated high school in 2002 but never adopted this hairstyle.

Think I should adopt any of these styles permanently?  🙂

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John McCain has Fewer Fans than Michael Jackson. Monday, Aug 25 2008

I was browsing the fan pages on Facebook tonight and came across the entire list of fan pages, ranked in order.

Fan pages are allotted to politicians, athletes, movies, celebrities, singers, TV shows, bands, vacation destinations, products and more.  You can become a fan of as many pages as you’d like.  (I’m a fan of Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden, Ted Kennedy, Nicolas Sarkozy, Michael Phelps and STA Travel.)

Barack Obama has had the most fans since fan pages began last year; however, Michael Phelps recently passed him (due in part to his sheer awesomeness and due in part to Facebook spotlighting his fan page in a congratulatory message on all American Facebook profiles).  At the moment that I’m typing this, Michael Phelps has 1,448,161 fans to Barack Obama’s 1,396,388.

So, who’s supporting John McCain?

According to Facebook, as I type this, John McCain has 218,592 fans, or just under one-sixth of the fans that Barack Obama has.

In other words, he’s ranked just below CW teen drama One Tree Hill and little-kid-lover Michael Jackson.

Check it out:

You can’t make this stuff up.

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The Current Best of Pundit Kitchen Monday, Aug 4 2008

I absolutely love Pundit Kitchen — it’s one of my favorite Web sites.

I gathered my favorite pictures that have been posted recently.  Check them out!

But the very best one of all:

The very best picture that has EVER appeared on Pundit Kitchen:

In fact, the best captioned political picture of all time:

LOVE IT!

Besides the last one, my favorites are the Al Gore one and the Romney one.

What are yours?

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I want to party with John Kerry! Wednesday, Jul 30 2008

I saw this picture on Boston.com today and it was too good not to post:

From the Boston Globe:

TMZ.com posted a series of pics of Senator John Kerry yesterday with an eye-catching caption: “Electoral College Girls Gone Wild.” The website said the shots of Kerry and a troop of tipsy 20-somethings were taken at a Nantucket house party over the weekend. Not so, said the senator’s spokesman.

In an e-mail, David Wade had this to say: “The caption is completely erroneous and insulting and it should be immediately corrected.” Wade said Kerry and two friends dined at the Straight Wharf restaurant and were walking down the dock when a large group on a boat recognized the senator and asked if they could take a photo.

Said Wade: “The group came off the boat and onto the dock, took a photo with Sen. Kerry and his friends, and then Sen. Kerry and his two friends immediately walked away. End of story.”

I love it.

You all know I would have taken a partying picture with the senator, too!

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THIS IS HOW I MAKE BREAD Sunday, Jun 29 2008

I came across the greatest video on YouTube yesterday.

Even if you’re a loyal Atkins devotee (but is anyone still on the Atkins diet anymore?), this video will have you craving bread in the worst way.

Check it out:

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Pundit Kitchen: Hilarious Political Pictures Wednesday, Jun 18 2008

I have recently discovered the fabulous site Pundit Kitchen.  It’s a division of I Can Has Cheezburger, home of the LOLcats.

Here are some of my favorite pictures:

 

But my all-time favorite is this one of Romney (and I could so see this happening):

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Darth Vader for Pope! Wednesday, Apr 16 2008

Which one’s scarier?  You decide.

One of my friends at work and I were talking about the Pope’s visit to the U.S. today, and he commented that the Pope kind of looked like the stereotypical image of an evil entity.

I told him he hadn’t seen anything yet.

I then went on a mad search for one of the funniest avatars I’ve seen on the internet — it was an animated GIF of the Pope turning into Darth Vader, at the point in the film when Hayden Christiansen first becomes deformed and he’s hiding under the cloak.

(Believe it or not, I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies because the first one scared me so much when I was little.  I was so afraid that Darth Vader was lurking in my bedroom that my dad had to comfort me for months.)

I searched and searched and couldn’t find it.

However, I found something even more amazing: the official petition nominating Darth Vader for Pope!

To:  The Roman Catholic Church

Dear the Roman Catholic Church
We understand that the creation of a new Pope is not usually a democratic process, however we feel that all options must be considered before you make such an important decision. That being the case we ask you to consider Darth Vader, dark lord of the Sith for the position. We feel he would make an excellent leader, would return Catholicism back to it’s roots, and would be instrumental in reconverting young people back to the faith. He would also be unlikely to molest small boys, which has got to be a plus in this modern world of ours. Remember those days when the Church commanded a fanatical cult following, and atrocities against other religions were committed with but a wave of the hand? Well, with Lord Vader at the helm those days can be here again.

So please, give in to anger, fear and aggression. Choose Darth Vader as the new Pope.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

Beyond fantastic.

Well, I couldn’t find that image of the Pope turning into Darth Vader, so here’s the next best thing:

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Quote of the Day….Sars? Sunday, Apr 13 2008

From Overheard in New York:

Everybody’s Saved. Now Could Somebody Buy Me Breakfast?

 

Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: You are all sinners. Jesus Christ is coming and you are all going to be condemned to hell.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I’m Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: Jesus is coming and you all will be dining with Satan.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I’m already here. I’m Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: No you aren’t.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I’m telling you, I’m Jesus. How do you know I’m not Jesus?
NYU hipster: My lord! You have returned!

–6 Train

Just replace NYU hipster with Emerson hipster and replace Emerson hipster with Sars.  That’s totally something my sister would say.

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I’m F*cking Obama! Wednesday, Apr 2 2008

This video is amazing.  Kudos to the creator.

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LOL of the Day Wednesday, Apr 2 2008

I came across this in my gmail contacts:

Whenever I have a tough day, I like to pour myself a glass of wine, order some take-out and put on a DVD of a man getting his skin ripped off for two hours.  Nothing like it!

I did see The Passion of the Christ when it opened sophomore year in college.  I wasn’t exactly the model viewer…

Of all days, I chose that day to order nachos.

At The Passion of the Christ.

Whip!  *Crunch.*  Slap!  *Crunch.*

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

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I love Wayne Brady. Tuesday, Apr 1 2008

I have loved Wayne Brady for years.  He’s definitely one of the most overall talented people in entertainment today.  I used to watch Whose Line Is It, Anyway? like crazy, and if you’ve ever seen the show, you know that Wayne is head and shoulders above the other comedians.

These days, he has his own show in Las Vegas.  I cannot wait to go to Vegas, and I am absolutely, 100% going to see his show!  My other friends aren’t too keen on the idea, but I don’t care — I’ll go alone.  I’ll even spend the $170.00 for the VIP seating and meet-and-greet.  That’s how good he is.

Here is my favorite thing that he’s ever done on Whose Line.  In a “Song Styles” sketch, he has to sing a song to Lunch Lady Lee…in the form of a Strip-o-Gram.

Enjoy!

…STEAK!

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Bad Kittehs Saturday, Mar 29 2008

My favorite LOLcat in a long time:

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