Something I learned the hard way…. Sunday, Jan 28 2007 

After an amusing situation that left me mildly sheepish yesterday, I have come to the conclusion that of the following list, a maximum of TWO of the listed options below are socially acceptable:

1) Sitting in the quiet environment of a Barnes & Noble, surrounded by people in chairs who are reading and being as quiet as you are.

2) Having a very large purse that serves the purpose of holding pretty much everything that you could ever imagine, yet makes it take forever to locate a specific object in particular.

3) A very loud “Dick in a Box” ringtone.

“Sorry,” I whispered to the group as I finally located my shrieking phone at the bottom of my purse. One guy — very cute, I should add — nodded, grinned and mouthed, “That’s great.”


So, who exactly is my type? Saturday, Jan 27 2007 

I saw this ad and went crazy. Nobody is MORE my type than this guy. Anyone who knows me knows that my type is tall, dark and skinny, but less people know about my thing for tattoos….this guy is just so HOTT!! Oh my God….
Enjoy yourself, ladies and gays.

New Apartment Pictures Friday, Jan 26 2007 

Finally, here are the pictures from my new apartment in Somerville! Of course, it’s nothing compared to the real thing….so if you’re in town, stop on by!

My bed that I ADORE — it took so much effort to get it up the tiny staircase.

My desk area, complete with an amount of books that make me look like a total intellectual ass….

My incredibly huge closet, viewed from the doorway. It’s about 12 feet long or so.

The closet from the other end.


Living room…..

Dining room, complete with spare bed. Love the doorways in this place!

The awful staircase. Even with a split box spring, it is EXTREMELY difficult to get a queen-sized bed up one of these!

The view from my bed. Check out how the TV is standing. It’s still like that, and it has shown no signs of falling yet.

What?! Monday, Jan 22 2007 

Who knew that the lyrics to “I wanna love you” were really “I wanna fuck you”?

Not me!!!!

I’ve only heard that song on the radio….and “I wanna love you” doesn’t seem too obviously altered from its original lyrics….not quite as painfully obvious as Shaggy’s “lo-ove on the bathroom floor” replacing “bangin’ on the bathroom floor.”


Being Productive Friday, Jan 19 2007 

This is a ridiculous post, but I’m so proud of all I accomplished on my day off.

After sleeping until noon, I:

–picked up my prescriptions in Reading
–changed my address at the DMV
–got my car inspected
–met up with Sars for sushi
–bought some HOTT boots at Nine West
–went grocery shopping and RESISTED the urge to buy anything unhealthy
–cleaned my room
–did laundry
–washed my sheets
–cleaned my blankets
–made my bed up BEAUTIFULLY

I realized while I was shopping that I’ve been eating hardly any vegetables lately. I’m usually good about that, but my schedule does not make it easy. So I bought some V8. That’s supposed to be just as good, if not better! But I’m now starting to regret WILLING myself not to buy ice cream or cookies or especially Double Stuf Oreos….I could use some of that now. I’m eating turkey pepperoni, sliced turkey, and will get myself a glass of vanilla soymilk.

It’s delicious, and I’m not kidding.

Watching Beauty and the Geek on Youtube, then bed.

OH MY GOD. Monday, Jan 15 2007 

If you have a gas stove, DO NOT cook while wearing a coat with furry cuffs.

I’m fine.

But one cuff got singed. I didn’t even realize how dangerous that was. Ah, the new things you learn when you move out on your own….

On Irresponsibility….and more Friday, Jan 12 2007 

I’ve been responsible. If you look at the simplest details of my life, most specifically my life post-college, it adds up to conventional perfection.

I graduated from a great college, took two months off, got a job, got promoted, lived at home for a while to save up money, and moved out to a nice house in a neighborhood that was probably the safest choice, as well as the closest T-accessible neighborhood to my family. I pay my bills on time, I work hard, I barely drink, I wouldn’t even dream of touching drugs. I’m nice to old people, I’m polite, and I’m the antithesis of dysfunction.

And some part of me wants it to come crashing down.

It’s no secret that I’ve shunned convention in the name of wanting to live an exciting, adventurous, interesting life. But now it seems like I’m falling into the trap of being completely normal and unsurprising! And that makes me want to be unconventional to the point of being irresponsible.

Not in a boringly irresponsible way, though. If I decide to rebel, it won’t be by not paying my Amex bill on time, or by doing drugs or doing nothing at work.

I just want to get away more and more….I want to become a vagabond.

I want to travel with nothing more than a tiny pack on my back with my passport, sunscreen and an extra pair of undies!!

I’m definitely feeling the call more these days….I’m still saving up as much as I can afford to. As of tomorrow, when my big Chri$tmas check comes in, I’ll have around $2850.00 saved towards the trip. That’s a bit over 10% of the total amount I want to save.

(Is it bad that sometimes I think of blowing it all on a nose job?)

I’ve been reading The Drifters, by James Michener, and it’s a really great book so far….it’s about six young people around my age who all end up in Torremolinos, Spain, during the late 1960s, and they end up living as nomads, traveling, working, and living in a world devoted to hedonism.

If anything, it gives me the reassurance that if I want to travel for a long period of time, I can work in lots of different ways to keep the cash coming in. If only it weren’t for those pesky student loans I’ll be paying back until I’m 37….

But after everything, and ESPECIALLY after moving my bed, I know that I’m going to be here for a while. For years. And I’m happy. And I’m having a great time.

But I keep having the urges to throw everything away for the sake of an adventure…..

In other news, I saw Dreamgirls and The Departed today, continuing to work on seeing all the Oscar movies ahead of time. I loved Dreamgirls — more the beginning than any other part, and Jennifer Hudson has an AMAZING voice, and Eddie Murphy was great too — but then The Departed!! WOW!! I loved everything about it. The writing was excellent, the acting was excellent, and I loved those little Scorsesian touches of violence, like when Leonardo DiCaprio stabbed the guy in the face with that long fork, and the hand in the bag….I was surprised that only a few of the Boston accents were deplorably bad. Most were okay, but there was only one that made me cringe. One of the women.

And the scene at “344 Washington Street” in South Boston, that takes place RIGHT down the street from my office! I loved that, and was there a part that very briefly took place in Lynn? I think I saw a Lynn police cruiser very briefly, like blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, and there were two bodies that looked like they were by the reservoir.

I mean, Dreamgirls was really great, too. It was nice to see a musical that wasn’t too Broadway — most Broadway kind of gives me the creeps, but I love R&B, Soul, Motown, and the sixties and seventies. And the costumes were SENSATIONAL — I hope the designer wins the Oscar. There was one dress in particular that the Dreams wore that I loved — this long red poncho-type gown top with gold piping down the middle over these shiny gold pants. It sounds gaudy, but it was nothing short of GORGEOUS.

I’m going to be doing a little travel reading after I Love New York is over (GREAT show!!!! Love the guys!!!!), and then bed, then laundry and The View (I’m addicted) in the morning. I hope it continues to be a snow-free winter!

Another Open Letter to Britney Spears Friday, Jan 12 2007 

Dear Britney,

I tried.

You’ve gone too far.

It’s over.


Kate, former fan

Best and Worst Workday Ever Wednesday, Jan 10 2007 

What a wild day. I knew that today was going to be bad, for reasons that I will detail below, but something amazingly good happened as well!

I won an award at work. Each month, people send in their best stories of tasks they accomplished for customers (since I’m being deliberately vague about work on my blog nowadays, not even mentioning the name of my employer, all I’m saying is that it’s a concierge service and I handle requests from a lot of high-profile clients). I submitted the story of a proposal I planned that took place in New York and turned from a simple proposal into a five-day extravaganza, with an elaborate proposal, tickets to the hottest concert in town and a baseball playoff in addition to a Broadway show, I pulled strings to get reservations at the hottest restaurants in town, and I kept everything in order and organized. (One part that was omitted from the entry was that I ordered flowers for his new fiancee and her mother, with extra-long notes in Spanish, and I had to spell them out to the florist letter by letter — it took FOREVER!!)

Anyways, I submitted that. Each month, they select around eight to ten stories that they thought were the best. Mine was on the list. Then, everyone in the company was invited to vote for the best one.

And I won!

In addition to the pride, I got a certificate, the “Top Dog” to perch on my desk, a parade of Team Leaders coming in and congratulating me, and — best of all — a $100.00 gift certificate. Which is awesome!!

But what surprised me even more was that I started receiving tons of emails as soon as the announcement went out that I won. A sampling:

“Congratulations! :-)” –Sarah
“Congrats! You suck!” –Andy, whom I had beat out for the prize
“Awesome!” –Max
“Showoff” –Peter
“Congrats — you know I helped you on this one. Now people are gonna think you’re a romance expert.” –Eddie
“I’m so proud of you!” –Danielle
“WOW! That sounds like a crazy request!” –Thierry from the Canadian office

I even got emails from people I had never met, from the Canadian office and everything, which was really, really nice.

But in addition to that, I knew that today was going to be one of the worst days.

One of my absolute favorite coworkers (and people!) had his last day today. He’s been at the company FOREVER, and even though he’s been thinking about leaving for a while, he ended up quitting a few months sooner than he was originally planning.

And he’s moving back to his home state at the end of the month.

God, I’m going to miss him.

So this day has been hard, too. It wasn’t unlike the end of college, when I was fine as soon as I got home for good but was a sobbing mess at least once a day during senior week.

Not that I’m a sobbing mess. But you know what I mean.

So, E, to quote Van Hunt, thank you for turning this day — EVERY day — into sunshine.

Are you pregnant? Sunday, Jan 7 2007 

You Are Probably Not Pregnant

It seems like you’re in the clear, but you should really take a test to be sure.
Thank God I had this online quiz to make sure!!!

LIES!! ALL LIES!!! Saturday, Jan 6 2007 

There is an issue of Ladies’ Home Journal that has taken up personal residence in the 5th floor break room at work, and because it’s usually the only piece of reading material around, save the occasional Redbook or OK! from August, I read it from time to time.

First of all, if there’s anything that makes me dread middle age, it’s Ladies’ Home Journal. It seems like all these women do is get fat, have marriage problems and cook for their picky families. Gag me. (Give me More magazine, the magazine for women over forty, any day of the week — and DON’T KNOCK IT until you’ve read an issue!! Reading it makes me think I can take over the world once I hit forty!!)

But what make me so incredulous was this article about weight loss. There was a woman who has shred something like 150 lbs. through a religious weight loss program. Ick. She said she didn’t diet or restrict foods or anything — she was just thinking about Jesus all the time.

What made me mad?

She was 5’4″ and 150 lbs.

And claimed to be a size 6.

NOT TRUE!!!! I am 5’4″ myself, I weigh between 125 and 130, and I’m between a size 6 and size 8!! There is NO WAY she is a size 6 if she weighs that much.

Kirstie Alley is obviously lying about her weight as well. She’s lost it, sure, but she’s not in the 160s, where she claims she is. And 220 was definitely not her heaviest.

And each year when People’s Half Their Size issue comes out, EVERY woman in it says she’s a size 8. I have my copy here, and I’ll bet you that nearly all of them are. Okay. Opening it up.

Well. Just four, really.

#1: Size 8. 5’8″, 158 lbs.
#2: Size 8-10. 5’8″, 152 lbs.
#3: Size 9 (whatever that is). 135 lbs. (no height given)
#4: Size 8. 5’7″, 165 lbs.

I do believe #3, except for the fact that her size does not exist.

I mean, do so many people think we’re stupid? This issue wasn’t as bad as some of the Peoples in the past. Someone actually wrote in that she really didn’t believe that a diverse group of women, from short and 120 lbs. to in the 180s, were all really a size 8. They’ll trick you. But not anymore.

"Doesn’t it feel great to be bet on?" Thursday, Jan 4 2007 

Yesterday, I was walking across the street toward the Starbucks on Summer Street, where I always stop on the way to work and almost always get a London Fogger (Earl Grey tea with steamed milk and vanilla syrup — it’s great!). I don’t know the Starbucks people personally, but there are a few with whom I exchange smiles, how are yous, etc.

Anyways, I was crossing the street and I saw one of the girls who often serves me, and she was standing next to a guy employee whom I didn’t recognize. And they were smiling — steadily and directly at me, unmoving, which is unusual for such a busy Starbucks. I kept walking and they kept smiling at me.

At this point I began to wonder what was wrong, if I had something all over my face or was bleeding from the eyes. I cautiously opened the door. Nobody was in line. I walked up to the front.

“Hi, I’ll have a grande London Fogger,” I said. They didn’t move, just keeping their steady smiles on me.

“Two bags,” I continued. Nothing.

“….whole milk?” I finished.

“Awwwww!” the girl groaned.

“Yes!” cheered the guy. “You owe me ten bucks!”

“You are kidding me,” I said.

They weren’t. The girl knows I’m a London Fogger girl, and even though it’s her who usually serves me, she had gotten the milk wrong! While they both knew it was a London Fogger, she was betting on nonfat. Sheesh.

It made me smile, though. It reminded me of back when Lisa and I worked at Victoria’s Secret and could instantly guess any woman’s bra size, which we once sat down for a while and did in Harvard Square. And as Andy said later, “Doesn’t it feel great to be bet on?”

Speaking of Andy, later on that night, we were waiting for the red line in South Station and he was telling me about how he was shaking up a can of whipped cream last night and doing this weird, goofy, pseudo-Mexican dance with it, and he started doing the dance. He told me how he wished he could have it taped, put it on Youtube and be the new sensation, the new Ma-ya-hee guy.

Then all of a sudden, a group of ragamuffins next to us (I use that word because NOTHING describes them better) starts cheering for Andy’s dance and asks him to do it again. Which, of course, he did. This group looked to be about college-aged or so, and they were loud and jovial and offered us chocolate truffles. (He took some. I declined.) They were perfectly nice, I will say that….but they were kind of weird.

“Those are my new neighbors, I swear to you,” I whispered to Andy. He laughed.

They weren’t — they got off at Central Square in Cambridge. But Central is where you typically find some of the most colorful groups in Boston.

Rachael Ray or Lisa? Wednesday, Jan 3 2007 

My mom got me a Rachael Ray cookbook for Christmas: 2, 4, 6, 8: Great Meals for Couples or Groups. The book has meals with the portion sizes correct for groups of different sizes. It’s great — I’m particularly looking forward to doing the Amalfi-centered meal, featuring lemon pasta, lemon flounder filets and lemon sorbet, served with limoncello. As you can tell, I absolutely love lemons! I’m looking forward to doing a lot more cooking, and doing more cooking for my friends. I’m sure there’s a specialty besides my famous chicken picatta trying to burst out of me!

Anyways, there’s a meal entitled Firehouse Special, for 6, which is smoky bacon and bean salad, three-alarm Italian-style Chili Mac, and pistachio ice cream (store-bought). The description is Rachael Ray, but I swear — she is channeling one of my best friends, Lisa! Lisa loves fireman (or any other man in uniform) and this is written EXACTLY like Lisa would write it! Here it is:

Firemen are HOT! There’s something about any man in a uniform, it’s true, but firemen — wow! They carry big, heavy axes, not guns. They have that smoky, battle-worn gear — and look so strong and sexy. They know how to tame a wild hose and, best of all, they know how to cook! They’re all locked up together around the clock when they’re on duty, so they know their way around a flaming stovetop better than most. Keep those pots hot, gentlemen. This one’s for you! If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a tall drink of cold water now.

I’m sure you won’t appreciate it if you don’t know Lisa….but seriously, down to the tall drink of cold water, this is 100% her. Lisa, are you doing some freelance writing on the side?!

New Year, New Apartment Tuesday, Jan 2 2007 

I have now officially moved into my new apartment in Somerville, just a short walk away from Davis Square.

I’m SO glad. And things have been going well so far. I just finished unpacking and organizing everything, and I don’t have a dresser at this time, so my clothes are in a complex pattern of organization amongst cartons….and hanging inside my closet, which is so huge, as Sars said, “You could charge someone rent to live in it!!” And it’s true….someone could easily and comfortably sleep on the floor.

I am carless for the next two weeks, as Sars will have the car while she’s home from school. But at least I have a red line stop that I can actually walk to this time!!

I’ll be taking pictures sometime, and posting them here. Just to show you the inside of the closet….lol. It’s pretty insane how long it is!

That’s it for now — more later.